3 Ways to Respond to a Perceived Threat with Power versus Force, Part 1
1. Depersonalize the Attack
When people judge, criticize, blame, or attack you, it’s more about their insecurities than it is about your identity. The specifics of the attack will give you insight as to where they don’t feel whole, while also pointing to an opportunity to further develop your own growth.
Rather than taking the bit of wisdom from others’ judgements and attacks and looking at our own shortcomings, we more often defend ourselves with equal force, which limits our ability to address the issue with ration and logic. It becomes an irrational and emotional reaction rather than a logical and strategic response.
How do you disengage the ego’s response to an apparent attack? By not taking other’s comments and actions personally. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, explains, “As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.” A sense of freedom comes with letting go of responsibility for others and catering only to yourself.